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[caravaggios]

𝙰𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ✧ 𝙰𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘 ✧ 𝚃𝚎𝚡𝚝 ✧ 𝚅𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚘

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[didyoueatthebaby]

[Weirdly, he hadn't even thought of the idea of Armand hunting in this spot. Not because he doesn't think Armand drinks human blood -- another question he's definitely planning to nudge at some point -- but because the idea of hunting out in a crowd feels far too messy for him. Too many variables that can't be controlled, for one.

Vampire talk might have to wait for whenever the car arrives, at any rate. Wouldn't exactly be great for some passing stranger to know English and overhear something that made them both look like serial killers. He's not sure what Armand does to handle that sort of thing, and he'd probably prefer not to know.]

Right. Fun little shopping dates, that kind of thing? I assumed you were more of an online shopping kind of guy.

[caravaggios]

Both types of shopping have their uses and their charms.

[When seeking out art, there is something to be said for visiting galleries and boutiques in person. But shopping online allows you to cast a broader net and search out specific things. When one is purchasing a stolen Rembrandt, for example, the dark web is extremely useful.

When the car pulls up, Armand steps forward to open the door.]

[didyoueatthebaby]

Right. And Amazon Prime shipping has got to be convenient for those not inclined to daylight.

[The words are said dryly, but there is probably an angle in there somewhere about the internet making things a hell of a lot more convenient for the undead. Another note to add to his laptop later.

Daniel gets in the car and very pointedly decides not to try to figure out how expensive a vehicle it is. He knows at this point that the vampire household he's been residing in certainly has resources, but he'll save the calculations for when he's in front of a spreadsheet and can boggle in private.]

[caravaggios]

[Armand slips into the car next to him and shuts the door. It is, indeed, quite an expensive car with all the bells and whistles.]

Amazon is hardly the only thing on the internet that has made things easier for us. It isn’t even my favorite retailer.

[He leans back in the seat as the car pulls out onto the street and makes a point of closing the divider between the backseat passengers and the driver.]

[didyoueatthebaby]

Yeah, I guess even Jeff Bezos isn't gonna be able to ship out original paintings by Basquiat.

[He'd done some Googling on the artworks in the penthouse. It was a lot. Honestly, he wasn't even much of an art guy and he was still going to be making damned sure not to spill anything in the general vicinity of the walls.

Daniel notices the divider slide up, glancing over at Armand.]

Big on privacy from the help?

[He does wonder, at times, who knows what about the whole 'vampire' situation.]

[caravaggios]

[He inclines his head, just slightly, in agreement. When looking for fine art, Amazon is quite useless.]

Precisely.

[He offers a dismissive shrug at the question.]

I am big on privacy in general, Mr. Molloy.

[His tone suggests that maybe that should be fairly obvious at this point. What with the facade he puts up and all.]

[didyoueatthebaby]

You are. It just begs questions of practicality.

[It was one thing to want privacy, which did seem to be fairly well-accomplished at this point. But it did make him curious as to how exactly one hid basic facts of their existence when they seemed to have at least a dozen people in their employ at any given time. Including at least a few who were actively being snacked on -- thanks, Damick.]

Especially if they already know they're working for at least one bloodsucker. Unless there's some convenient alternate explanation given for Louis' meal service.

[caravaggios]

[Armand gazes out the window as the car pulls into the street, watching the buildings pass while Daniel speaks.

When he turns to look at him, there’s a slight quirk to Armand’s lips.]

Did you have the impression that vampires are practical creatures, Mr. Molloy?

[didyoueatthebaby]

Vampires? No. Not even a little.

You, though? Honestly, yeah.

[His head is tilted, his expression curious. Daniel's still trying to decide what he thinks of Armand, an entirely separate task then when the man had been Rashid. There's a lot to piece together yet, but there is some shape coalescing, something that might at one point solidify.]

If nothing else, you run the penthouse and anyone who works in in it like a well-oiled machine.

[caravaggios]

[Armand smiles. And it’s genuine enough that there’s almost a sweetness to it.]

I will take that as a compliment.

[Then he glances out the window, taking a mental note of how far they are from their destination.]

You could say I value efficiency. Enjoy it. I don’t know that it is the same as practicality.

[didyoueatthebaby]

[There's -- something, something he can't name, exactly, in his reaction to seeing Armand -- pleased? Flattered? He's not sure what. Daniel has always tried to be no-nonsense, and that meant being truthful about things that were complimentary and not just what was bullshit. Still, it's odd to see Armand smile sincerely all the same.]

So what makes you impractical, then? Besides the bookshelves on the ceiling and the flair for the dramatic.

[caravaggios]

[He raises his eyebrows, more amused than insulted.]

Is that not enough?

[When Daniel puts it bluntly like that, it seems like it should be enough. He could defend his choice of decor, but honestly he can understand why it might seem impractical to a human.

But Armand offers a shrug and glances out the window again.]

I once watched three seasons of the television show Friends in one sitting. I believe that to be impractical given the number of times Netflix asked if I was still watching.

[didyoueatthebaby]

That's...

[After the initial surprise of considering Armand, of all the beings in the universe, sitting down to watch Joey fucking Tribbiano, he starts doing math. There is a piece of his brain, one that has been honed by years of research and critical analysis, that immediately starts to calculate the exact time count in spite of himself.

Friends was a half-hour sitcom, twenty minutes without commercials, it ran on network TV in the 90s, so it presumably had 24-episode orders. Multiply it all together by three and you get...]

You watched Friends for twenty-four straight hours?

[caravaggios]

[Armand isn’t listening in to Daniel’s thoughts specifically, but he is aware of the gears turning in his head, the calculations he’s making. And when Daniel asks his question Armand sighs deeply, glancing at him with a slight quirk to his lips.]

Yes, something like that. Impractical, as I said, and not something I would recommend.

[Not that he thinks Daniel really needs this particular advice.]

[didyoueatthebaby]

Did you even like it?

[For some reason, this sticks to him more than a lot of other shit he's learned in the past few days. The human man named Rashid actually being a vampire named Armand? A wild twist, but, you know what, he was in vampire territory. The guy who owned original Francis Bacon paintings watching Jennifer Aniston have a will-they-won't-they with Ross? Somehow that was more surprising.]

[caravaggios]

I enjoyed the blonde woman. Phoebe. She was amusing. The rest…grew tedious.

[Which is why he never binge watched the rest of the seasons. Armand isn’t surprised that Daniel is surprised, though. Shocking him was, perhaps, the main reason he decided to share that bit of information. To see his reaction. Armand does enjoy getting reactions out of people.

But it’s also easier to talk to him now. As himself, rather than a facade.]

[didyoueatthebaby]

[Somehow, that eases him back. He's pretty sure he'd have been far more rattled if it turned out Armand was really, deeply invested in Ross Geller. It'd really set back the mystique on the whole 'vampire' thing.

Still, there's something oddly -- humanizing about the idea of the guy sitting down to watch a sitcom and deciding he didn't like it, even if 'human' was something he hadn't been for half a millennia. Daniel's not sure what to make of that.]

Does seem kind of low-brow compared to Rembrandt and Basquiat, but then again, I have no idea what kind of TV wouldn't be.

[caravaggios]

[Armand tilts his head thoughtfully and then glances out the car window to determine how much longer before they get to their destination. Perhaps 5 more minutes.]

That is not a fair comparison. It’s—what’s the saying?—apples to oranges? Painting is a different form of art than theater. Or acting.

[He's not really trying to defend Friends, exactly, but as someone who has both painted and acted, as well as a fan of television in general, he has opinions.]

In his day, Shakespeare was considered low-brow. Popular theater for the masses, full of bawdy humor. His work is art to people now because it has withstood the test of time.

[He turns his gaze back to Daniel.]

Besides, it is Louis who has the fondness for Basquiat. I fear I may be too old to fully appreciate him. Modern art is sometimes lost on me.

[didyoueatthebaby]

[It's odd -- this is maybe the most Armand has talked about himself since Daniel has met him. The words he says aren't really about him, granted, but he's explaining his tastes and point of view, and it's a contrast to the secrecy that's surrounded everything else about him since Daniel's arrival.

But Daniel's content to let him talk, to let him become less of a cipher. It's weird, but something about getting him outside of the penthouse seems to have made him less of an enigma. Maybe fresh air'll do that. Or just Joey Tribbiani. Hard to say.]

Mm, I don't disagree. I mean, I'm not someone with particularly fancy tastes, exactly. I guess I assumed your sense for aesthetic wasn't just limited to penthouse decor.